Thursday, August 13, 2015

A520.1.6.RB - Self-Awareness Blog


Before starting my MSLD program I don’t think I gave much thought to Self-Awareness at all.  I remember the topic being discussed in my undergraduate years but that was a very long time age.  So has my level of Self-Awareness changed since beginning this class?  Absolutely!  Where I may have thought about things in my life and used some of the Five Core Aspects of Self-Awareness I certainly wasn’t doing it knowingly.  In our text, Whetten and Cameron (2011) describe the five aspects as; Emotional Intelligence, Values, Cognitive Style, Attitudes Towards Change and Core Self-Evaluation. 

Emotional Intelligence as defined by Whetten and Cameron (2011) refers to a person’s ability to diagnose, understand and manage emotional cues.  Where I thought I was fairly skilled in this area I have found I still have a ways to go.  After consciously thinking about interactions I had at work with my staff I realize that I not only need to improve on reading other peoples emotional cues but also I need to pay closer attention to my own and how they affect others around me. 

Values are the foundation upon which attitudes and personal preferences are formed (Whetten and Cameron 2011).  This is an aspect I have to be careful of.  Where I have always been open to diversity and have no problem with people who think and believe differently than me when it comes to family I have some issues.  I had a difficult childhood and I do not have much contact with my family anymore, which is for the best, so when I hear about how caring and helpful other people’s parents are I have difficulty processing that.  My values and beliefs are further supported by the fact my husbands family, while loving and supportive, do not live near us so we do not see them regularly.  It was eye opening for me to realize that something I thought I had put behind me and moved on from could affect me unknowingly. 

Since I starting reflecting on my self-awareness a few classes ago I found that my cognitive style is exactly as I would have thought it to be.  I am comfortable in knowing and planning but not so much in creating.  While this was not a surprise, I have realized I need to embrace the creative side in others.  To be a good leader I feel I need to understand the way people perceive, interpret and respond to information differently than I do.   Whetten and Cameron (2011) break cognitive style down into two dimensions: the manner in which one gathers information and the way in which they evaluate and act on it.  Not all people I oversee will have the same cognitive styles as me and that leaves me to present information in ways that will appeal to everyone.  This is one of the areas I need to work on.

When it comes to my attitude towards change I have always been the type to gather all the information and organize it before making a decision, T-charts are my best friend when it comes to weighing options.  I have a low tolerance of ambiguity, which Whetten and Cameron (2011) defines as extent in which individuals have difficulty coping with situations that are ambiguous, where information is inadequate or unclear.  After learning this I feel in order to better myself not only as a leader but also as a person I need to shift from an external locus of control to a more internal one. Once I can change from thinking that outside forces are in control to believing that I can determine what happens to me then hopefully I can start to make decisions based on less information and more on my knowledge of myself. 

The final piece to this large puzzle is the area of Core Self-Evaluation, the “who are you really”.  This is one of the areas that I feel I struggle with the most.  It is difficult to look inside myself and analyze who I am.  And sometimes who I am at home is not who I am to the outside world.  This can be a difficult situation.  Since I started my MSLD journey I have questioned a lot of things in my life and my career, mostly to determine where I am at the moment and where I want to be.  I have been at home with children for the better part of eight years, with some part time work built in, and for the longest time I felt that defined who I was.  I was so-and-so’s mother.  I felt more like an object than a person.  I longed to be the person I was before, the teacher, the runner and the independent individual that made her own decisions based on what she wanted.  Then I realized that I could be both.  I had to stop thinking of myself as the object and insert myself as the person I wanted to be.  I can be the loving mom and wife and still have a career that I enjoy.  It will not always be easy but it is possible. 

When I started my MSLD program I had no idea that I would be looking into myself and analyzing every aspect that makes me who I am.  It was not a journey I was prepared for, but have come to realize it is exactly what I need.  The five aspects of Self Awareness; Emotional Intelligence, Values, Cognitive Style, Attitudes Towards Change and Core Self-Evaluation, have taught me that I am ever evolving as a person and a leader.  They have also taught me that I have a few changes to make about myself and the way I interact with others in order for me to reach the potential I believe I have.   


Whetten, D.A., & Cameron, K.S. (2011). Developing management skills (8th ed.).

Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice Hall.    

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