When thinking of two decision situations in my life I come back to the age old question of where my husband should live and work and the newest dilemma in our house of whether or not to send one of our kids to private school. Each of the two decisions holds a place in our emotions but not for the same reasons. One decision we are very confident about and one in which we are very uncertain, however, both decisions were very emotional in nature.
A decision that our family revisits quite often is whether my husband should remain in Florida for work or move to Vermont to be with the rest of the family. About every 12-18 months we revisit this dilemma for one reason or another, and so far the answer has been for him to remain in Florida. The amount of times we have made this decision leaves me very confident in it, and as Oberholzer-Gee (2001) pointed out confidence is contagious and passion is persuasive. We have survived quite well in our current situation so why upset it now? Our kids have grown up with their father flying back and forth between Vermont and Florida for all their lives and have adapted just fine. So why fix something that is not so broken? Yes, I would love to have a second adult around every night to help out with the kids. Yes, I would love to have someone here to give me a break from the duties of a stay at home mom. The downside is that I would have to work outside the home and truthfully he would not be here as much as I would like as the jobs in Vermont pay much less than in Florida. This is a trade-off I am willing to compromise for and I am very confident in our decision. The emotional issues I had to overcome with this situation were anger, frustration, and loneliness. These were the toughest emotions for me too overcome.
The second decision we are facing at this time is also a very emotional one, whether we should send one of our children to a private school or not. One of our kids struggles in school, as a result, we have been looking at private school in order to meet her needs. We are in the middle of a huge debate about whether we should send her or not, based on what the private school can offer her that the public school cannot. A large part of our decision is based on uncertainty, we are not convinced that the private school is the best options, but we aren’t sure the public school is either. Shiv (2011) talked about how passion is persuasive and our major issue is avoiding the bandwagon of boycotting public school and trying to make the best decision based on her needs. The emotions I am facing in this situation all revolve around making the right decision, being a parent is by far the most difficult job I have ever had. My emotional reactions are fear, anxiety, and confusion. This decision could affect her entire life.
Some decisions are easy and require very little thought, others are life changing and keep us up at night. The dilemma of whether or not you are making the right decision and how it will impact the future is a stressful one. As a parent, it is difficult to face down a decision that could change their lives, and the fear in thinking I am making the wrong decision haunts me. I just want to do the best for my kids.
Oberholzer-Gee, F. (2001). Learners or lemmings: The nature of Information
Cascades. In Wharton on making decisions (pp. 273-286). Hoboken, NJ: John Willey & sons.
Shiv, B. (2011, November 07). Brain Research at Stanford: Decision Making.
Retrieved March 13, 2016, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRKfl4owWKc
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