A641.7.3.RB - Appreciating Your “Real Self”

When a leader is ready to initiate intentional change they may need to look beyond just changing their career skills, they may need to look deeper than that.  While a leader can certainly strengthen the skills that got them to where they are in their professional life or focus on improving their weaknesses, however, by limiting their view to only professional skills they may be missing the whole picture.  McKee, Boyatzis, and Johnston (2008) stated people who want real change will need to look at all aspects of their lives, not just leadership skills. 

After completely the exercises, I came to the realization that when my parenting or professional skills are struggling it is often a result of something bigger in my life.  One of the major factors in my ability to function as a leader, mom, or wife is the amount of running I do in any given week.   The more I run the better I perform in other aspects of my life.  I believe it goes beyond just the physiological factors of running.  I believe my ability to handle the other parts of my life after running is due to the meditative state I am able to achieve while on a run.  While this state doesn’t happen on every run, some runs are specifically meant to train for an upcoming race, but others are all about just getting our the door and listening to my body and clearing my mind.  By taking this time to “check-out” I am more able to be present with others.  Clayton (2015) found that exercise helping work-home integration via increased self-efficacy, which he found made people less likely to avoid difficult tasks or situations, and more likely to see them as challenges to be mastered.  This is exactly the feeling I have after a run, I feel like I can take on just about anything thrown at me.

After finishing the timeline of my life, I found that I am not afraid to take on difficult tasks and opportunities.  Throughout my life, I have made some difficult decisions that have led to some personal challenges.  I divorced my first husband in order to leave a volatile situation, which left me as a single mother struggling to get by.  The next change came after years of therapy around my mother’s abusive behavior.  I finally realized that what was happening was not my fault and I needed to put some space between us.  This was one of the best things I have ever done for myself.  My well-being has improved tremendously since breaking the ties.  Another major change for me was my leaving my job to care for our children.  I have had a job for as long as I can remember, so the idea of not bringing in money and depending on another, my husband, was difficult for me.  I have since come to realize that it was necessary and thankfully my husband has never once made me feel that I do not contribute to the family.  In fact, he often feels my job, as a stay at home mom, is more important than his, which pays the bills.  All of these choices were risky, however, I made them based on a long thought-out plan devised from many hours of calculating what-ifs.  While they all contained a certain amount of risk they were not reckless.  This type of calculated risk taking will serve me in my leadership role as well.  As Reardon (2014) pointed out People who become good leaders have a greater than average willingness to make bold moves, but they strengthen their chances of success, and avoid career suicide, through careful deliberation and preparation.  There is a huge difference between calculated and reckless risk. 

The last realization I made was around my social identity and lifeline.  I was enlightened to the fact that I often place myself in the role of caretaker or “fixer”, it is a role I have had since I was a child.  It was always my job to “fix” my mother when she would deteriorate mentally, unfortunately, I learned early that I needed to be the “good child” on days she was really bad off.   I continue this pattern today, I am always there to try and fix any problems others might have.  Given this trait about myself, I have found that a lot of my friends are people who are in almost constant need of support.  The other type of friend I have are people who are just like me.  My husband often jokes that most of my close friends are just clones of myself.  What I have realized from that statement is that they do have characteristics of me, but mostly the positive ones.  de Klepper, Sleebos, van de Bunt, and Agneessens (2009) stated that it is a well-established finding in social sciences is that people who are friends exhibit a great deal of similarity in attitudes and behaviors.  The question becomes why does this hold true.  It would seem that we like to surround ourselves with people in whom we see positive qualities that we either have ourselves or strive to.  This certainly holds true for a large portion of my friends.  My other friends are those whom I feel need my help. 

After stepping back and reviewing the exercises, I have realized I need to learn ways to help me become more mindful.  I tend to take very little time for myself other than running, making me often feel frustrated and overwhelmed.  Boyatzis and McKee (2005) stated reflection, contemplation, meditation, cognitive training are all ways to explore your inner world and are all critical to developing mindfulness.  My goal from here is to find more ways to work these into my day.  I need to start by carving out a time to spend at least 10-15 alone with no distractions to clear my head and try to live in the present.      

Boyatzis, R. & McKee, A. (2005). Resonant Leadership (5th ed.). Harvard Business

                Press.

Clayton, R. (2015). How Regular Exercise Helps You Balance Work and Family.

    Retrieved February 26, 2017, from https://hbr.org/2014/01/how-regular-      exercise-helps-you-balance-work-and-family

de Klepper, M., Sleebos, E., van de Bunt, G., & Agneessens, F. (2009), Similarity in

friendship networks: Selection or influence? The effect of constraining contexts and non-visible individual attributes. Soc. Netw. doi:10.1016/j.socnet.2009.06.003

McKee, A., Boyatzis, R. E., & Johnston, F. (2008). Becoming a resonant leader:

develop your emotional intelligence, renew your relationships, sustain your effectiveness. Boston, MA: Harvard Business School Pub.

Reardon, K. K. (2014). Courage as a Skill. Retrieved February 26, 2017, from

https://hbr.org/2007/01/courage-as-a-skill

A641.5.3.RB - ICT at the Team Level

Making the decision to change on a personal level only takes one person, for a team to make an intentional change it takes collaboration.  Teams often go through periods of change which on unintentional, they simply grow as a group and become stronger as a unit, or they grow apart and become weaker.  This is just a normal part of group dynamics.  Some groups are committed to becoming the best they can as a team, such as the US Women’s Soccer Team, and others are made up of members who are focused on personal goals rather than team goals, such as the 2000 and 2004 US Olympic basketball team.

Akrivou, Boyatzis, and McLeod (2006) made five discoveries about group development through ICT: the emergence of shared ideal, vision, or dream, exploration of norms, paradoxes, challenges, and gaps, the group’s learning agenda, group experimentation and practice, and resonant relationships.  In three of these areas, the US Women’s Soccer Team was much stronger than the Men’s Olympic Basketball Teams.  These areas were the emergence of shared ideal, vision, or dream; the group’s learning agenda, and resonant relationships.

 When a team is looking for its ideal self all members must accept the emergence of shared ideal, vision, or dream.  The image of the ideal or a shared vision has three core features, namely hope, an image of a desired future, and core identity (Akrivou, Boyatzis, and McLeod, 2006).  The Women’s Soccer Team had this, they were all united in working towards the same goal; to be the best they could be as a team.  They all agreed on a united goal or vision and they devoted their time to achieving it.  They weren’t without struggles, as Dure (2016) pointed out no team is without its internal tensions, and the American women had distinct groupings of age and alma mater, but private cliques never became public nuisances. 

 The same cannot be said for the Men’s basketball teams, they were a group of players thrown together and expected to play as a cohesive unit, an all-star team of sorts.  These teams did not have much practice time together and never really meshed as a unit, a lot of the players had individual goals but the team was lacking a vision.  As Leopold and Teitelbaum (2016) pointed out the perception of the team had diminished both at home and abroad.  The mix of players assembled for the 2004 Team was a mishmash of personalities that made it difficult to come together as a team.  Some were unable to give up the mindset that they were stars and did not need to function as a team. 

 In order for a team to achieve their vision, they need to have a learning agenda to follow.  In the case of the Women’s soccer team, they had a tight schedule of practice, conditioning, and strength training.  They spent the majority of their time together and form that they formed a bond.  The time spent together on the field helped them to learn not only the skills they needed but also how to work together as a team. 

 On the other hand, the Men’s basketball team did not spend that much time together.  They all had just finished the NBA season where they played with their respective teams and now they were mixed together, given few practices, and expected to move as a well-oiled machine.  This was not a recipe for success.  As Leopold and Teitelbaum (2016) stated The United States could no longer throw 12 All-Stars together and hope they would emerge victorious.  The world teams had improved yet the US had remained the same.  The 2004 team was also made up of some very young talent, talent that would eventually dominate the NBA, but at the time of the Olympics they were still unseasoned.  This mixed with the low scoring percentages and Iverson’s “ball hogging” on the court showed to the world the lack of practice the US had (Fields, 2012).

 The final aspect of ICT as a team is creating resonant relationships.  On the women’s team, there were some lasting relationships formed, it is not to say that all the women got along at all times but they did have a mutual respect for each other and managed to keep any issues off the field.  Chuck (2015) talked about Title IX being one reason the women’s team was such a cohesive group, the mere existence of the team had been a struggle and from adversity comes strength.  The opportunities for women in professional sports if much lower than for men, therefore, there is more pressure to succeed and more on the line with failure.  In order to achieve and maintain this level of success, certain relationship must be present. 

 With the Men’s basketball team, most of the players came from rival teams during the NBA season and yet were expected to play together as a team.  Beyond the fact that every NBA team has it’s own playing style, they also had their own rivalries and lack of respect for other players and teams.  In their eyes, there was no reason to create relationships, as they would all be returning to their own teams after the Olympics were over.  When people form bonds or relationships they are more likely to work well together, unfortunately the men’s teams were full of members who were unable to look beyond themselves and their own talent.  The mindset of the team had shifted and instead of working together to achieve a goal, each player was out to prove they could win on his or her own.  This behavior and attitude did not generate relationships. 

 When a team makes a decision to change intentionally all members need to be on board and buy into the change.  This was the case with the US Women’s Soccer Team; they were able to put aside any personal differences in order to achieve the team’s shared vision.  The Men’s basketball team, on the other hand, was never able to do this; they were each focused on themselves rather than the team itself.    All teams go through changes that are unintentional but in order to make intentional change occur the team dynamics must be cohesive.  Akrivou, Boyatzis, and McLeod (2006) offered a typology of group development
theories using three: change, stability, and continuity.  A team that faces and overcomes change will eventually enter stability in which the team has a chance to become even stronger and from that they achieve a level of endurance that will carry them through.    

     

Akrivou, K., Boyatzis, R. E., & McLeod, P. L. (2006). The evolving group: Towards a

prescriptive theory of intentional group development. The Journal of Management Development, 25(7), 689-706. doi:http://dx.doi.org.ezproxy.libproxy.db.erau.edu/10.1108/02621710610678490

Chuck, E. (2015). A Level Playing Field: Why the USA Is So Strong in Women's

Soccer. Retrieved February 11, 2017, from http://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/world-cup/level-playing-field-why-usa-so-strong-womens-soccer-n385346?cid=par-time-article_20150705

Dure, B. (2016). Carli Lloyd's memoir explodes myth that US women's soccer is all

fun and friends. Retrieved February 11, 2017, from https://www.theguardian.com/football/blog/2016/sep/27/carli-lloyd-memoir-us-women-soccer

Fields, C. (2012). Ranking Every USA Basketball Dream Team 1992-

2008. Retrieved February 11, 2017, from http://www.chatsports.com/olympics/a/Ranking-Every-USA-Basketball-Dream-Team-19922008-17514

Leopold, B., & Teitelbaum, B. (2016). Red, White and Bronze: The death and rebirth

of USA Basketball. Retrieved February 11, 2017, from http://www.nbcolympics.com/news/red-white-and-bronze-2004-death-and-rebirth-usa-basketball

A641.4.3.RB - Tipping Points of Emotional Intelligence

In his video, Boyatzis (2013) talked about what a tipping point might look like, it could be that someone “gives you an opportunity and ask you to do something that you feel is over your head but and you go into it not sure you can handle it but they believe in you”.  When this happens your negative feelings change to positive and therefore causes a tipping point for you.  This can occur anywhere but often times it occurs in a work setting. 

I experienced a tipping point during one of my years of teaching math.  I had not yet earned my Special Education license, however, I had completed the majority of the classes.  Our school had unexpectedly lost our special educator and was in need of another.  I was approached by the lead teacher and the school director and was asked to accept the position (because we were a private school I did not need a license at the time).  I was very unsure of myself at first and my first thought was to turn it down, but I knew it would be a huge move for my career so I decided to accept it.  I was still unsure of how I would perform; however, my lead teacher was more than confident that I would do well.  The first week she was in my office every day giving me support and telling me I was doing great.  After finishing that first week, I went home for the weekend and realized that I could do the job and do it better than the person before me.  The faith my lead teacher had in me had finally stuck and I realized I had nothing to be worried about I had the ability to do the job all along.  If I had to do it differently next time I would realize sooner that if others have that amount of faith in me I should too. 

When Goldsmith (2003) talked about Gladwell’s presentation he stated: “that social change may occur suddenly rather than slowly and that little causes can have big effects” (para. 2).  This is similar to what I experienced.  I went home one night and all of a sudden I had an “ah-ha” moment where I realized I could do this and in fact, I was doing it and doing it well.  The idea of a tipping point is for a person to reach the top of a mountain, of sorts, and then they are no longer climbing but instead they are descending.  The climb up is the negative emotional attractor (NEA), the peak is the tipping point, and the descent is the positive emotional attractor (PEA). 

The idea that a leader will always be confident or know exactly what to do every time is unrealistic.  As Boyatzis (2006) pointed out “some of the competencies related to effectiveness reflect cognitive intelligence, but many of them are behavioral manifestations of emotional intelligence” (p. 124).  In my case, I had all the knowledge I needed to perform my job but I lacked the confidence.  On the other hand, I had enough emotional intelligence to appear confident on the outside.  Once I was past my tipping point, I was able to show the outside world exactly what I was capable of.  This was a very powerful lesson for me to learn.   

  

Boyatzis, R. (2013). Module 2 The Positive PEA) and Negative (NEA) Videos. Retrieved February 03, 2017, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=197x4dmuug8&feature=youtu.be

Boyatzis, R. (2006). Using tipping points of emotional intelligence and cognitive competencies to predict financial performance of leaders. Psicothema, 18, 124-131. Retrieved February 3, 2017, from http://www.psicothema.com/pdf/3287.pdf

Goldsmith, R. E. (2003). The tipping point: How little things can make a big difference, 1st ed. Malcolm Gladwell.  1st ed. Boston, MA: Little, brown and company 2000.  ISBN: ISBN 0‐316‐31696‐2. Journal of Consumer Marketing, 20(1), 71-73. doi:10.1108/jcm.2003.20.1.71.3