Monday, July 11, 2016

A634.6.3.RB - What are Virtues?


After completing Ben’s Quiz, my results indicated that I needed to work on Temperance and Resolution, neither, of which were a surprise to me.  Though the quiz did not give the results for those virtues I scored well on, I would say that one of them would have been Industry.  Given these three virtues I have a good sense of what I do well and what I need to improve on. 
In LaFollette’s (2007) book he references Aristotle’s view of what a virtuous person must: do the appropriate action, do it habitually, enjoy acting virtuously, know that it is virtuous and know why it is virtuous (p. 213).  Given this criterion I feel my virtuous strength in industry, which pbs.org described as “lose no time, be always employed in something useful, cut off all unnecessary actions”.  I tend to be a very organized person, I can envision my kid’s daily and weekly schedules in my head and rarely forget an appointment or activity.  I like to stay as busy as possible as a little downtime turns into hours, if I stay in motion I am more likely to accomplish what needs to be done.  I am also a list maker and create one almost every morning, I like to see exactly what needs to be done and feel a great sense of success when I can cross something off the list.  I sometimes take this virtue to the extreme leaving me with a plate full of tasks and little time, but somehow I always manage to complete everything.  I am also a huge believer that when a person says they are going to do something they should do it.  I understand that things can arise and time can slip away but in the end someone is counting on you to finish the project and it would be a disappointment if you didn’t. 
One of the areas my quiz found I needed to work on is resolution, which pbs.org (n.d.) described as “resolve to preform what you ought, preform without fail what you resolve”.  While I am not arguing this fact, I feel that some of the reasons I am not always able to follow through are out of my control.  I have recently made resolutions to eat better and get back into running, after taking almost eight years off to have four more kids.  This is a great plan in theory, and one that I would love to see through to fruition, however my children often have other ideas.  This is where my virtue of industry is my downfall.  I tend to put others before myself which makes following through on things for me difficult.  I need to find ways to say no to others in order to help myself, which will make me more able to help in the long run. 
I have struggled with temperance all my life, the idea of not using something external to numb one’s self internally.  While I am not an alcoholic, I have used alcohol to escape reality on many occasions.  I grew up with a very cold and demanding mother, who asked for nothing less than perfection from me and made it very clear when I had not lived up to her expectation.  I spent most of my childhood assuming this was “normal” behavior from mothers, and it wasn’t until my high school years that I realized it was far from normal.  Between this type of upbringing and an assault I endured during high school at the hand of a “friend” I spent a lot of time attempting to dull my pain.  Alcohol was usually my first choice and method to dull the pain, food was a close second and I alternated between over eating and not eating at all.  After a while I came to the realization that my experiences were not normal nor were they healthy and made the huge decision, with the help of a therapist, to break away from my mother.  This was a tough decision but one that needed to happen, and it was the best decisions I have made in that it probably saved my life.  I still struggle with appropriate ways to cope, however I have things under control and the idea of bingeing no longer enters my mind.  It has been a long road but one that has made me stronger.
It seems that most people want to live their lives with virtue but struggle with internal demons that may inhibit their behavior.  It was my battle with my demons that led me to where I am today and I am thankful for it.  I now have five kids who look up to me and everyday I am under their spotlight, I know I want them to grow up acting a virtuous as they can so I try to emulate that as often as possible.  One must live a virtuous life out of their own needs and desires not because someone else wants them to, it must be a personal decision.                         

LaFollette, H. (2007). The Practice of Ethics. Malden, MA: Blackwell Publishing, Ltd.
(n.d.). Retrieved July 11, 2016, from

http://www.pbs.org/benfranklin/pop_virtues_list.html

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