Dear Sarah,
According to Boyatzis and
Akrivou (2006) the ideal self (IS) is an evolving, motivational core within the
self, focusing a person’s desires and hope, aspirations and dreams, purpose and
calling. Now that you have finished your vision
statement, you may need a few reminders on how to achieve your goals so I am
writing a letter to help lay out the necessary steps. Your vision of your ideal self is someone who is caring,
happy, and dependable. The way you will
demonstrate this is by teaching others, growing adults, and giving back.
Teaching others has always been
important to you, whether it be the students you taught or your own
children. The three milestones you will
use to meet this goal are completing your MSLD, starting and completing your Ph.D.,
and conducting research. Your MSLD is
almost complete; the only class left is your capstone, after which you can
begin to look for adjunct positions to help prepare you for full-time
teaching. You are set to begin your Ph.D.
in late June; you will need to finish all the classwork required and then start
the dissertation. I know the
dissertation scares you a bit but with the help of others you will do just
fine, you always do. Then upon
graduation, you will be able to look for and apply to teaching positions, which
is your ultimate career goal. The final milestone
is to conduct research in hopes to publish someday. Once you have narrowed down all the topics
floating around in your head, you will be able to focus on one and begin to
become an expert on that topic. From there
you will spend hours researching and writing about it until your final paper is
accepted and published, hopefully. You
will continue to teach others in many ways throughout your life.
You are the mom of 5 wonderful kids
and eventually, they will be adults whether you want them to grow up or
not. The three milestones that will get
you through this are fostering independence, building confidence, and making
connections. In order to foster
independence, you must let your children learn to do things on their own; this
may mean that they will “fail” at some point at which you can teach them to
pick themselves up, carry-on, and learn from their mistakes. It is these mistakes and learning from them that
will make them stronger. Remember what
Campbell (2016) stated it is our role to teach our children right from wrong,
but it is not our right to decide who they are supposed to be. These moments will also give your kids the
confidence they need to take risks and succeed in life. When children are given the opportunity to
experiment safely they build the assurance that they can handle stress and
overcome roadblocks. Even if you think
they are not going to be successful or you have a “better” way of doing things,
please step back, watch, and be there to comfort them after. Which leads me to another milestone, making
connections. Children look to their
parents to support and love them but they also are a source of anger and
frustration. It is in these times that
you, as the parent, need to put aside any of your own feelings and be there to
make a connection with the child. It can
be difficult to do this when you have your own anger and frustration but it is
necessary and the bond you will create is immense.
Your final learning goal is to give
back, which you can achieve by coaching others to run, being a part of Girls On
The Run, and helping your friends when they need you. To begin coaching you must complete the Level
I certification course, pass the online exam, agree to the code of ethics, and
prove CPR certification (RRCA.org, n.d.).
You are still in the process of finding a course that will fit your schedule
and travel requirements but don’t give up, it will happen. In the meantime, you have the GOTR program
which you will be coaching this spring with your oldest daughter and will have
two more daughters to help coach in the future.
This is an important role for both you and your daughters; you are not
only giving back to others but also showing your daughters what you are capable
of. You have always been a supportive friend;
you are the person most of your friends turn to when they need help sorting
things out in their lives. This is a
place where you can continue to grow and improve for your friends and
yourself. Continue to work on addressing
problems with an analytical mind first and personal mind second, this is what
they have come to count on from you. It
gives them the ability to step back from problems they are emotional involved
in and see them in a different light.
Even when is seems you are alone in
the world, you are not. You may not have
a supportive extended family, but you have a husband who is there whenever you
need him, to support you and help you in times of crisis. You also have a small group of good friends
who are ready to drop everything at a moments notice to help you. You also have a few people that you have met
during your MSLD that are willing to guide you along in you educational and
career quest. Being a stay at home mom
can seem like the loneliest job, and it probably is, top that off with a husband
who travels Monday-Friday and things can look quite dark. This is when you need to call on your friends
for help, even though you do not like to ask for help.
You set forth a very specific vision
statement; complete with steps to help you achieve your goals. Whenever you are struggling with what to do
in or with your life please refer back to this.
You have many great goals and dreams and you are capable of achieving
them all if you put your mind to it.
Just remember, “You’ve got this”!
When you need extra help refer to your learning plan as McKee, Boyatzis, and Johnston (2008)
pointed out it shows the relationship between your vision, learning goals, and
actions, as well as the key relationships you will use for support.
Best
wishes,
Sarah
Boyatzis, R. E., & Akrivou, K. (2006). The ideal self as
the driver of intentional
change. The Journal of
Management Development, 25(7), 624-642.
doi:http://dx.doi.org.ezproxy.libproxy.db.erau.edu/10.1108/02621710610678454
Campbell, S. (2016). 10 Things Our Children Need
From Us As Their Parents.
Retrieved February 18, 2017, from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sherrie-campbell-phd/10-things-our-children-ne_b_10250988.html
McKee, A., Boyatzis,
R. E., & Johnston, F. (2008). Becoming a resonant leader:
develop your emotional intelligence, renew your relationships, sustain
your effectiveness. Boston, MA: Harvard Business School Pub.
Road Runners Club of America.
(n.d.). Retrieved February 16, 2017, from
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